After school yesterday, Joey and a truckload of his basketball players were heading to the workout center they had just joined, and I was about to take the girls to walk and play at our favorite park.
"Coach! We can't let Mrs. V go walking by herself like that! What if someone hits on her?"
I laughed. "I have two little kids with me... and I'm like a million months pregnant. I think I'm safe from being hit on."
"You never know..." Says Joey, eyeing me with a leer
Later, when they all troop home, I'm stirring a huge batch of spaghetti. Joey wraps his arms around me and teasingly asks if I got hit on much.
"Nooooo, but I did get into a fight with a really big guy." I confess.
"But I PROMISE he wasn't thinking about flirting with me!"
See, what had HAPPENED was...
There was this very big guy walking right past us, and quite a few other groups of toddlers and small children and their mamas. And he was talking VERY LOUDLY on his phone about the Evils of the Catholic Church. It was offensively phrased, and ignorant, but I just rolled my eyes and went on about my business of herding my children into the car. BUT THEN he started up on What Those Priests Are Probably Doing To Little Boys In The Confessional. In graphic detail. Very, very, very graphic detail. Using words and terms that I would NEVER want my girls to hear, talking about things that no small child should hear about, in an incredibly loud voice.
Aaaaand Beast Mode Activated.
Lucy: Excuse me, sir? There are little children here, you need to stop talking like that around them.
Filthy McNasty: *pulling his headset off* What? Well I am SORRY, but this is a private conversation.
Lucy: Then I recommend you have it, you know, IN PRIVATE.
Filthy McNasty: Listen, I AM A GROWN MAN, HERE!!
Lucy: AND THEY ARE LITTLE CHILDREN WHO DON'T NEED TO HEAR THIS KIND OF TALK, SO BE A GROWN MAN AND SHOW SOME RESTRAINT!
Filthy McNasty: Well, but I am just walking past!
Lucy: *wrath fully, and I mean fully unleashed* THEN KEEP ON WALKING, SIR!
Filthy McNasty: *ducks his head and quickly (and silently) walks away*
Mmmmhhm. That's what I thought.